Chirah - Who?

A thought on Yehuda's Relationships in Parashas Vayeshev

This weeks parashah relates the heartbreaking story of the sale of Yosef.

After the brothers sell Yosef into slavery, they tried to cover up their act by pretending that he was killed by a wild animal. Yaakov, Yosef’s father, is heartbroken and cries out in grief. In the midst of all this, Yehuda, who is blamed for not preventing the sale of Yosef, goes out to find quieter pastures and went to Adullam where his friend Chirah lived. 

It was in Adullam that Yehuda married the daughter of Shua and had three children; Er, Onan and Shelah. Er went on to marry Tamar. When Er died childless, Onan was to be married to her and give Tamar the children of his brother. Then Onan died as well, so Yehuda hesitated to give Tamar to his third son, Shelah. After the death of Yehuda’s wife, Tamar believed that Yehuda has reneged on his promise to her, so she disguised herself as a prostitute and seduced Yehuda, becoming pregnant with his twins. She asked for a mashkon or a pledge in place of the payment of a goat for her services. The mashkon consisted of a stick, string and seal. Later, Yehuda sends his friend Chirah to give a goat to Tamar in exchange for the mashkon, but she is nowhere to be found. When Yehuda learned of Tamar's pregnancy, he recognized that she was justified in her actions and spared her punishment. The twins, Peretz and Zerach, were born, and Peretz became an ancestor of the line of kings of Israel.

Chirah, a stranger who we never heard of, ironically becomes like a brother to Yehuda. The relationship between Chirah and Yehuda is depicted as being more compassionate than Yehuda's own brothers, who turned into strangers vis-a-vis Yosef. 

The parashah describes Yehuda's relationship with Chirah, more than it would describe any other ‘stranger’. 

  וַיְהִי בָּעֵת הַהִוא וַיֵּרֶד יְהוּדָה מֵאֵת אֶחָיו וַיֵּט עַד אִישׁ עֲדֻלָּמִי וּשְׁמוֹ חִירָה.

"And it came to pass at that time, that Yehuda went down from his brothers, and turned in to a certain Adullamite, whose name was Chirah."¹

After his wife's death, Yehuda goes to shear his sheep with the help of Chirah the Adullamite:

וַיַּעַל עַל גֹּזֲזֵי צֹאנוֹ הוּא וְחִירָה רֵעֵהוּ הָעֲדֻלָּמִי תִּמְנָתָה.

"And he went up with his sheep shearers to Timnah, he and Chirah his Adullamite friend."²

In the third instance, Chirah's name is mentioned as the one who was sent by Yehuda to pay the kid goats to Tamar.

³וַיִּשְׁלַח יְהוּדָה אֶת גְּדִי הָעִזִּים בְּיַד רֵעֵהוּ הָעֲדֻלָּמִי לָקַחַת הָעֵרָבוֹן מִיַּד הָאִשָּׁה וְלֹא מְצָאָהּ.

Why does the Torah tell us about the relationship between Yehuda and Chirah? What is the significance of the fact that Chirah went down to shear Yehuda’s sheep and that Chirah was the one sent to take the mashkon from Tamar?

The Netziv⁴ asked these questions and he suggests that the purpose of mentioning Chirah is to show the close relationship between Yehuda and Chirah, as well as the trust and confidence that Yehuda had in him. Just as the birth of Mashiach was facilitated by the help of a great and honorable man, who Yehuda befriended. So too in the future, the building of the Beis Hamikdash will be facilitated by the help of Chiram the King of Tzur.

In other words, the story of Yehuda and Tamar is the foundation for the birth of David and Mashiach ben David, and through it, the Torah describes the future events that will take place, namely the formation of close ties with the children of other nations.

This idea from the Netziv is based on the Midrash⁵ that Chirah is the same person as Chiram, who was King of Tzur who Dovid Hamelech was friendly with (perhaps from when he hid in the caves of Adullam when hiding from Shaul⁶). Chiram supplied the cedar for the Beis Hamikdash and was one of nine people who merited to go into Gan Eden while still alive. The Midrash describes how he was eventually replaced by Rav Yehoshua ben Levi, after he went into competition with Hashem, as he declared himself God. He was eventually killed in a rather gruesome way by Nevuchadnezzer⁷.

However, this is only according to one opinion in the Midrash, according to the other opinion in the Midrash, this was a completely different person. 

Additionally as Mahartiz Chiyos points out⁸:

“It was the “derech HaDrush”  to refer to different people by the same name if they were similar in some way, either in character or in their actions, or if their names were similar. In such cases, it was easy for them to treat the two people as one….. As we see in the Midrash, the Rabbanan said that Chirah was Chiram, the king of Tyre, and he was close to a thousand and two hundred years old… “

Regardless as to the identity of Chirah, the question remains; what is the Torah teaching us by telling us about him, after all no word in the Torah is superfluous?

Rav Simcha Bunim of Peshischa⁹ learns from the relationship between Yehuda and Chirah the importance of having a good and trustworthy friend:

Rav Simcha Bunim explains that the task that Chirah did for Yehuda, of bringing the goats to Tamar, and what followed shows that Chirah knew exactly what happened between Yehuda and Tamar, but the friendship with Chirah was such that Yehuda did not feel uncomfortable telling Chirah about his weaknesses. We see that not only did Yehuda feel comfortable telling Chirah about his failure, but even afterwards, Chirah accepted Yehuda as he was, and this did not affect the relationship between them.

Rav Simcha Bunim learns from this that every person needs a close friend who can reveal their innermost thoughts to them. The close friend has an important role in the person's ability to progress in their avodas Hashem. When there is no one to tell the truth to, it is difficult for a person to hold themselves accountable to the truth – they deceive themselves about their situation, and are unable to truly progress. The idea that a person has the option to reveal their true situation to another person enables them to also progress from that point.

This is based on the Mishnah in Pirkei Avos

יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן פְּרַחְיָה וְנִתַּאי הָאַרְבֵּלִי קִבְּלוּ מֵהֶם. יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן פְּרַחְיָה אוֹמֵר, עֲשֵׂה לְךָ רַב, וּקְנֵה לְךָ חָבֵר, וֶהֱוֵי דָן אֶת כָל הָאָדָם לְכַף זְכוּת:

Yehoshua ben Perachiah and Nittai the Arbelite received [the mesorah] from them. Yehoshua ben Perachiah used to say: appoint for yourself a teacher, and acquire for yourself a friend and judge all men with favor.

The Rambam explains this as meaning that a person should have someone they love, trust, and will not keep secrets from. This is why the Mishnah uses the term "friend". 

The importance of a friend, based on the story of Yehuda and Tamar, is to have support and refuge in difficult times. After a fall and failure, a person needs to feel that there is someone in the world who loves and believes in them. The trust of a friend in moments of crisis can give strength and help in the process of correction and recovery: after the failure is revealed, Yehuda emerges in the end with full strength; he confesses his mistake – "the truth is that I am the one who sinned"¹⁰ – despite the heavy price he must pay for it.

It is possible that the friendship with Chirah played a role in Yehuda's eventual confession. The clear realization that even if his disgrace is revealed to the public, there will always be someone who will not turn their back on him surely strengthened Yehuda, made it easier for him to confess to his deed, allow him to own the line of Kingship from which Mashiach will be born.

Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Vitebsk¹¹ commented,

“Every Jew has within him a particular aspect of goodness and Godliness that no one else has. The purpose of friendship is for two people with differing greatness to come together to connect spiritually, to uplift and inspire each other and receive each other’s greatness.”¹²

In other words, there is a possibility, perhaps even an obligation, for two separate human beings, albeit with differing greatness, to connect on the deepest level and share each other’s spiritual gains. It is only through this connection that one can reach their fullest potential. ‘The best we can’, it follows, includes whatever my friend can add to my life and whatever I can add to his.

Rav Avraham Grodzynski writes¹³:

A good friend is not only something to find, but more importantly, something to become. Being a good friend implies intrinsic growth within the person independent of the relationship.

Who was Chirah? 

Chirah was a friend. He was there for Yehuda when things were going downhill for him. He was able to show him that he believes in him regardless of what may have happened. 

When we believe in each other and act as friends to one another, we are not just planting the seeds of Mashiach, we are participating in the rebuilding of the third Beis HaMikdash and the ultimate tikkun. May we merit to see that day soon!

1. Bereishis, 38:1

2. Bereishis, 38:12

3. Bereishis, 38:20

4. Bereishis 38;1

5. Bereishis Rabbah 85, Tanchuma Buber Vayeshev 13

6. Igra D’kalla - Vayashev 54

7. Vayikra Rabbah 18, Yalkut Shimoni - Nach 367

8. Mevo Hatalmud 21

9. Kol Mevaser, Vol. 1 Vayashev - 13

10. Bereishis 38:26

11. Likutei Amarim 34:4

12. Translation from Conversations of Torah by Rabbi Yaacov Haber 

13. Toras Avraham, Ahavas HaBriyos pg 233