Chukas: An Emotional Journey Through the Parashah
Over the past week, I have devoted considerable time to researching the Holocaust, particularly the dilemma faced by many influential figures as to whether they should remain or escape. However, in all the literature and articles I encountered, the emotional aspect of the Holocaust seemed largely overlooked. Undoubtedly, emotions were heightened, but as Viktor Frankl pointed out, our feelings were often dulled to form a protective barrier around us.
Frankl identified apathy, an emotional numbing and a state of indifference, as symptoms that emerged during the second stage of a prisoner's psychological response. This indifference made prisoners insusceptible to the brutalities inflicted upon them daily. Thus, an essential protective shell was created around the prisoner through this insensitivity.
On a lighter note, and to illustrate how emotions can impact perception and interactions, consider this joke:
A man walked into a library and asked the librarian for books about paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you!”
This joke highlights the way our emotional states can skew our perspectives, just as paranoia can heighten a sense of fear and vulnerability.
Now, let's return to the serious discussion...
In her insightful book 'Resilience', Dr Leslie M. Gutman elaborates on this phenomenon. She notes that the experience of loss induces a shift in our reality, leading to emotions that might spiral out of control. Consequently, people often encounter a series of fluctuating emotions throughout the grieving process. These emotions may include shock, confusion, exhaustion, denial, anger, guilt, shame, sadness, and fear. Each individual's grief journey varies, marked by distinct emotional responses and timelines.
Anger frequently surfaces when dealing with a tragedy. It compels us to face the harsh reality of our altered circumstances. Amid the grieving process, people often experience profound fatigue, heightened anxiety, and a sense of pervasive helplessness. Anger, in this context, energizes us, mobilizing psychological resources needed to cope with adversity. It empowers us to act in order to regain balance following a loss. However, unchecked anger can be detrimental. From a Torah perspective, anger signifies a lack of understanding that events unfold according to God's will. Therefore, it's critical to manage our anger before it governs us. Accepting that not every situation has a clear solution can be a useful strategy for anger management. The assumption that every problem can be solved can lead to frustration when we encounter insolvable situations. A more constructive approach would be to focus on how to navigate and manage the challenges we face.
Gutman goes on to emphasize that the grieving process can eventually foster recovery and resilience. The path through grief is incredibly diverse, depending on the individual and the circumstances. Experts estimate that the grieving process can last from several months to a couple of years. In some cases, grief may persist for decades or even a lifetime. It's generally agreed among therapists that we should allow ourselves the time to mourn. They suggest that healthy grieving, the process of integrating our loss into our life, moving forward, and adapting to a renewed life, is the most typical reaction to a significant loss
The Torah seldom provides a detailed emotional account of the Bnei Yisrael during their journey through the desert. We understand that they experienced hunger and expressed their discontent. Yet, we lack insight into the depths of their feelings. The emotional states of our ancestors remain elusive. For instance, we're uninformed of their sentiments after they crossed the Yam Suf and endured a water shortage for three days.1 Similarly, we're oblivious to Yosef’s emotional reaction when he was tossed into the pit.
Interestingly, our Parashah is replete with emotional narratives. Miriam passes away, leading us to another bout of thirst. Hashem instructs Moshe to address the rock, but Moshe, in his frustration, strikes it twice. As a consequence, Moshe and Aaron are informed that they are barred from entering Canaan. Subsequently, Aaron receives news of his impending death, which ushers the people into a 30-day period of grief and mourning.
Eventually, Bnei Yisrael moved on from Har HaHor, only to be denied passage by the Edomites. At this point, the Torah enlightens us again about the nation's feelings: וַתִּקְצַר נֶפֶשׁ־הָעָם בַּדָּרֶךְ׃ - the journey became intolerable and disheartening for the people.
Rashi interprets this as the people feeling discouraged due to the strenuousness of the journey. They exclaimed: We're now within reach of entering the land, yet we must turn back. Our fathers were also forced to turn back, and they remained in the wilderness for thirty-eight years till today. As a result, their spirits became low due to the harshness of the journey. Rashi further delves into the phrasing and comments:
כְּלָלוֹ שֶׁל פֵּרוּשׁ, כָּל לְשׁוֹן קִצּוּר נֶפֶשׁ בְּדָבָר לָשׁוֹן שֶׁאֵין יָכוֹל לְסָבְלוֹ הוּא — שֶׁאֵין הַדַּעַת סוֹבַלְתּוֹ: In summary, the phrase "shortening of the soul through a thing" indicates an unbearable situation — a state of mind that one can't tolerate.
The people felt inundated, incapable of processing the situation. The Netziv, interpreting the Gemara in Eruvin2, elucidates that a shortcut which turns out to be a longer route is more challenging than a long way that surprisingly turns out to be shorter.
What happens next is interesting. As usual, the complaints of the people led to a plague - this time of snakes. Yet, their lives were saved by observing the copper snake that Moses had crafted. This raises questions: why were these emotional outbursts met with a punishment of snakes? And why were they rescued by staring at a copper snake, a symbol resembling a caduceus? What is the correlation here?
Rashi, citing a Gemara in Rosh Hashanah3, offers an explanation. He suggests that when the Bnei Yisrael, while observing the serpent, cast their eyes upward and submitted their hearts to their Heavenly Father, they were healed. But if they did not do so, they perished.
I would like to suggest that the Bnei Yisrael were experiencing profound emotional upheaval, a state of emotional flooding, which impaired their clear thinking. They were unable to recognize and appreciate the miracles that had been supporting them until that point. They needed to break free from this emotional deluge, look beyond their earthly emotional turmoil, and look upward. The snake on the ground, capitalizing on the frailty of human emotions, could lead them to demise. This was the same snake that tempted Chava to consume the forbidden fruit, exploiting the vulnerability of human emotions. However, it's crucial to remember that this creature is a snake because God designated it as such and oversees its every move.
Therefore, if one were to raise their gaze to the copper serpent, they could grasp the entity—God, who has been providing for them all along. They would perceive the spiritual dimension of their hardships, leading to their deliverance.
Later in Parshas Balak, Balaam says, "כִּי לֹא־נַחַשׁ בְּיַעֲקֹב" - "There is no sorcery amongst the Children of Israel." The Mei Hashiloach4 interprets this to mean that when we face uncertainty, we shouldn't act obstinately. Instead, we should rid ourselves of personal biases and recognize that however God acts, that is how we should respond. The people no longer suffered from the emotional pitfalls symbolized by the נחש.
Often in life, our decisions are driven by our emotions, and in the process, we fail to recognize and appreciate the blessings bestowed upon us by Hashem. At times, we may even suppress our emotions, tucking them away deep within our hearts, and create a defensive shield around ourselves, as reflected in Viktor Frankl's writings. Surviving the Holocaust, according to Frankl, necessitated a sub-human existence. The incident with the snakes serves as a reminder that our capacity for emotion is a core part of our humanity. However, we must always remember to raise our gaze, acknowledging that everything comes from Hashem. Embracing this balanced perspective can guide us towards a fulfilling life, intertwining our earthly human emotions with our spiritual connection to the Divine.
Shabbat Shalom
Beshalach 15:22
53b
29a
Balak