Facing fear: The Path to Redemption or Destruction

Exploring the contrast between Pharaoh's fear and Moshe's, and how it relates to our own struggles with fear

Jan 13, 2023

As a student in the Mir Yeshiva in Jerusalem, I was privileged to be acquainted with an older gentleman who came to learn in the yeshiva after his retirement, Rav Nachum Stilerman. On one particular occasion, I was present when Rav Nachum spoke and he prefaced his remarks with a story. He was at a Siyum HaShas and his seat was located directly under one of the giant screens displaying the speakers to the assembled crowd. When Rav Pam got up to speak, he gave a fiery speech urging Klal Yisrael to be stronger in their Avodas Hashem. He felt that Rav Pam was staring at him the entire time and this made him feel uncomfortable. Later, Rav Nachum approached Rav Pam and asked him why he was looking at him throughout his speech. Was the message perhaps intended for him in particular? Rav Pam responded that he was not in fact looking at him, he was looking at the screen as he felt that when one gave words of rebuke, they must be looking at themselves. He was talking to himself using the screen as if it was a mirror.

I often share practical lessons in my posts, which are typically areas that I personally struggle with. Through this platform, I share my thoughts with myself and anyone else who is interested in listening.

In Parashas Shemos, the Bnei Yisrael's journey that started in Sefer Bereishis comes to a sudden halt as Pharaoh becomes increasingly threatened by their growing population in Mitzrayim.1 He and his advisors devise a plan to make the Jews feel unwelcome, starting with a tax and eventually leading to their enslavement.

As Pharaoh's fear of a rebellion by the Jews grew, he became increasingly ruthless and ordered the killing of all male infants born to the Jewish community.

As the midwives disobeyed Pharaoh's orders due to their fear of Hashem, the situation became more dangerous. When Moshe was born, his parents had to hide him to save him from being killed, which led to placing him in a basket on the Nile River. Miriam was worried about Moshe’s fate, but he survived miraculously and was raised in the palace of Pharaoh.

Several years later, Moshe witnessed an Egyptian mistreating a Jewish person. In a moment of agony over the mistreatment of his brethren, he killed the Egyptian and buried the body. The next day, when he tried to intervene in a fight between two Jewish men, it became clear that word of his previous actions had reached Pharaoh. Fearing for his life, Moshe was forced to flee Mitzrayim.

Several decades later, Moshe was living in Midian with Yisro and Tzipora, working as a shepherd. One day, a sheep from his herd went missing and as he searched for it, he came across a burning bush. As he approached, he realized that it was not a regular bush, but rather a manifestation of Hashem. At this point, Moshe turned away in fear, now aware of the presence of Hashem in the flame.

Hashem gave Moshe a mission to negotiate with Pharaoh and lead the Jewish people out of Mitzrayim. Moshe was once again filled with fear, expressing doubts that the people would not believe him. Hashem reassured him, provided him with signs and even His name to prove to the people that he was the true redeemer and representative of God. Despite this, Moshe still felt hesitant to go back to Mitzrayim due to the threat on his life, as well as his lack of confidence in his speaking abilities. Hashem tells him not to worry as those who wished to harm him have passed away.

In the end, Moshe accepted the mission and delivered the message to Pharaoh, demanding the release of the Jewish people. However, as expected, Pharaoh felt threatened and instead increased the workload of the Jewish people.

Throughout the Parsha, there is a recurring theme of fear.

Throughout the Parsha, there is a recurring theme of fear. Pharaoh fears the growing population of the Jews, Miriam worries about her brother, and Moshe is plagued with anxieties - from Pharaoh's retaliation, to viewing Hashem in the burning bush, to his public speaking abilities and leading the Jewish people out of Mitzrayim. This fear becomes so prominent that Hashem appoints Aaron to work alongside Moshe.

I would like to suggest2 that the Torah is teaching us in Parashas Shemos that there are two different ways of dealing with fear, exemplified by Pharaoh and Moshe. Fear is a natural human emotion, but it must be channeled correctly. In order to progress in life, we must learn how to confront our fears. An important aspect of leadership is inspiring others to overcome their fears, and in order to do so, a leader must first learn to do so for themselves.

Pharaoh's fear of the growing Jewish population is a sentiment that has been echoed by anti-Semites throughout history, most infamously by the instigator of the Holocaust in his book Mein Kampf. Pharaoh allowed his fear to be the cause to incite, to be a means through which he can justify evil and commit evil actions.

According to psychologists, fear can lead to a type of evil known as malignant narcissism, which has a tendency to be extreme. In the eyes of someone who is fearful, even those who are not threatening can appear as a threat and even those who are helpless can appear monstrous and destructive. This is because anyone who is part of the group being feared can be perceived as a cause of extreme danger. This is how people can easily find themselves committing evil acts, like Pharaoh ordering the murder of newborn children. This type of evil is hard to stop because it is difficult to recognize it for what it is, as it often presents itself as justified, even when it is actually extreme and absurd.3

An alternative approach to dealing with fear is exposure. Exposure therapy is a technique for managing fear by gradually confronting feared situations until anxiety decreases. This method is safe and can make the fear become a normal part of life, much like how people have grown accustomed to seeing themselves in mirrors and dealing with the permanence of photographs taken by cameras, by taking small steps to overcome a fear, it becomes a natural part of life.

This is the approach that Moshe took when dealing with his fears. He was initially afraid to look at Hashem, yet later asked to see God face to face.

Hashem helped Moshe overcome his fear by showing him a stick turning into a snake and telling him to grab it. Moshe had to trust that the outcome would not harm him, and it helped him overcome his fear.

Moshe also had a fear of his speech impediment, despite Hashem's assurance that it would not be a problem, but he eventually became the greatest orator of our people, known affectionately as "Our Teacher, Moshe."

To quote myself:

“To take on a challenge, no matter how many naysayers there are and how perilous it may seem, is to change your destiny.”4

Or as Dale Carnegie put it:

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer the negative elements in your life, don’t sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy!”5

Rabbi Sacks ties Moshe's situation to the struggles of Yaakov and Yonah6:

We find that Jacob wrestled with the angel of Esau and then sure that he has encountered God Himself. He calls the place where the struggle took place Peniel, saying, “I have seen God face to face and my life was spared”.7
The Rashbam interprets this story as an instance of what Robert Alter has called a type-scene, that is, a stylised episode that happens more than once in Tanach. Rashbam sees this as the clue to understanding Jacob’s night-time fight. He relates it to other episodes in Tanach, two in particular: the story of Jonah, and the obscure episode in the life of Moses when, on his way back to Egypt, the text says that “When they were in the place where they spent the night along the way, God confronted Moses and wanted to kill him”.8 Tzipporah then saved Moses’ life by giving their son a brit milah.9
It is the story of Jonah that provides the key to understanding the others. Jonah sought to escape from his mission to go to Nineveh to warn the people that the city was about to be destroyed if they did not repent. Jonah fled in a boat to Tarshish, but God brought a storm that threatened to sink the ship. The prophet was then thrown into the sea and swallowed by a giant fish that later vomited him out alive. Jonah thus realized that flight was impossible.
The same, says Rashbam, applies to Moses who, at the Burning Bush, repeatedly expressed his reluctance to undertake the task God had set him. Evidently, Moses was still prevaricating even after beginning the journey, which is why God was angry with him.
So it was with Jacob. According to Rashbam, despite God’s assurances, he was still afraid of encountering Esau. His courage failed him and he was trying to run away. God sent an angel to stop him from doing so.
It is a unique interpretation, sobering in its implications. Here were three great men, Jacob, Moses, and Jonah, yet all three, according to Rashbam, were afraid. Of what? None was a coward.
They were afraid, essentially, of their mission. Moses kept telling God at the burning bush: Who am I? They won’t believe in me. I am not a man of words. Jonah was reluctant to deliver a message from God to Israel’s enemies. And Jacob had just said to God, “I am unworthy of all the kindness and faith that You have shown me”.10
Nor were these the only people in Tanach who had this kind of fear. So did the Prophet Isaiah when he said to God, “I am a man of unclean lips.” So did Jeremiah when he said, “I cannot speak: I am a child.”
This is not physical fear. It is the fear that comes from a feeling of personal inadequacy. “Who am I to lead the Jewish people?” asked Moses. “Who am I to deliver the word of God?” asked the prophets. “Who am I to stand before my brother Esau, knowing that I will continue the covenant and he will not?” asked Jacob. Sometimes the greatest have the least self-confidence, because they know how immense the responsibility is and how small they feel in relation to it.
Courage does not mean having no fear. It means having fear but overcoming it. If that is true of physical courage it is no less true of moral and spiritual courage.
Shakespeare said it best: “Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon ’em.”11
I sometimes feel that, consciously or subconsciously, some take flight from Judaism for this very reason. Who are we to be God’s witness to the world, a light to the nations, a role model for others? If even spiritual giants like Jacob, Moses, and Jonah sought to flee, how much more so you and me? This fear of unworthiness is one that surely most of us have had at some time or other.
The reason it is wrong is not that it is untrue, but that it is irrelevant. Of course we feel inadequate to a great task before we undertake it. It is having the courage to undertake it that makes us great. Leaders grow by leading. Writers grow by writing. Teachers grow by teaching. It is only by overcoming our sense of inadequacy that we throw ourselves into the task and find ourselves lifted and enlarged by so doing. In the title of a well known book, we must “feel the fear and do it anyway.”
Be not afraid of greatness: that is why God wrestled with Jacob, Moses, and Jonah and would not let them escape. We may not be born great, but by being born (or converting to become) a Jew, we have greatness thrust upon us. And as Marianne Williamson rightly said, by liberating ourselves from fear, we help liberate others. That is what we as Jews are meant to do: to have the courage to be different, to challenge the idols of the age, to be true to our faith while seeking to be a blessing to others regardless of their faith.
For we are all children of the man who was given the name of one who wrestles with God and with men and prevails. Ours is not an easy task, but what worthwhile mission ever was? We are as great as the challenges we have the courage to undertake. And if, at times, we feel like running away, we should not feel bad about it. So did the greatest.
To feel fear is fine. To give way to it is not. For God has faith in us all even though, at times, even the best of us lack faith in ourselves.

As we begin Sefer Shemos, as Hashem begins the process of Yetzias Mitzrayim, the Torah begins with a valuable lesson for everyone. It emphasizes the importance of leaving a familiar and secure place and stepping out of our comfort zone to pursue something greater. This is reinforced by the mitzvah to remember Yetzias Mitzrayim every day.

Keeping this basis of Yetzias Mitzrayim in mind, we will then be ready to face our own miniature Yetzios Mitzrayim. We will be better equipped to face the challenges and anxieties in our lives, knowing that Hashem believes in our strength to overcome them. We are no longer slaves, but free people with the power of choice.

May we approach our choices without being paralyzed by fear, and may we tackle uncertain situations with faith and confidence. Always remember, that no matter the obstacles, a better future, one that is worth hoping and davening for, is always worth it.

Facing fear: The Path to Redemption or Destruction

Exploring the contrast between Pharaoh's fear and Moshe's, and how it relates to our own struggles with fear

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