Living Vicariously, Living Eternally

Parashas Yisro

This week, my family celebrated the marriage of my niece, the first of her generation to get married. While I would have loved to be there in person, it proved impossible for personal reasons. Being somewhat FOMO-challenged, I followed every moment through our family WhatsApp group. I heard the speeches, saw the chuppah, and though I wasn’t physically there, I still felt part of the simcha. Living vicariously really works.

As I went over this week’s parashah, I realized that this was exactly Yisro’s experience, and, in fact, the experience of each of us at Matan Torah.

We often think of 'living vicariously' as experiencing someone else’s joy or adventure from afar. But in Torah, it is something much deeper. Living vicariously is often seen as a passive escape, watching others’ lives unfold through social media while neglecting one’s own. But in the Torah’s view, living vicariously is not about distraction; it is about connection, using the Torah to transcend our limited existence and tap into something eternal. It is a way to connect spiritually, beyond the constraints of time and space.

The parashah begins with the words "Vayishma Yisro" – “And Yisro heard...”¹

Rashi asks: What did he hear that made him come? He answers: Kriyas Yam Suf and the war with Amalek.

Yisro was not present for the geulah from Mitzrayim, nor did he witness the splitting of the sea firsthand. Yet, upon hearing about these miraculous events, he was so deeply moved that he left his homeland and identity behind to join Bnei Yisrael.

Yisro was not the only one who heard. The entire world heard. Chazal² teach that the nations of the world trembled in fear, yet Yisro transformed. What made him different?

Yisro didn’t only hear, he internalized. He lived vicariously through the experiences of Bnei Yisrael to the extent that it reshaped his reality. He acted upon what he heard, becoming part of a story he had never directly witnessed.

The parashah continues, teaching us that this concept extends beyond hearing—it applies to sight as well.

The Midrash³ teaches that every Jewish soul, past, present, and future, stood at Har Sinai. Even those who had not yet been born were spiritually present for the greatest revelation of Godliness in history.

At Har Sinai, we saw the sounds, ro’im es ha’kolos, a reality beyond the physical. We saw the Shechinah. Even if we didn't have physical eyes to see, our souls perceived and experienced it. And that moment remains imprinted within us.

Even today our souls continue to see and hear the experience of Matan Torah and Kriyas Yam Suf. This is the ultimate form of vicarious experience: not just hearing or seeing, but reliving.

This means that we were all there. Every time we learn Torah, every time we do mitzvos, we are reliving the Sinai experience, reconnecting to that moment in history and bringing it forward to eternity.

The experience of Torah is not bound by time or place. In truth, all of Jewish life is about living vicariously.

When we daven, we are not simply reciting words—we are standing before the Kisei HaKavod.

When we learn Torah, we are merging with Hashem’s wisdom, joining a timeless conversation between Moshe, the Tannaim, Amoraim, Rishonim, and Acharonim.

When we do a good deed, even if we don’t see its impact, we are affecting the highest realms.

By living vicariously, we transcend time and space, and integrate with realities beyond our own, even if we do not understand or experience them firsthand.

The beauty of being a Jew is that we are never confined to our personal experiences. We grow and develop spiritually through the wisdom of those before us, the history of our people, and our connection with Hashem.

Just as Yisro was changed by hearing about Yetziyas Mitzrayim, and just as every neshama stood at Har Sinai and was transformed by seeing the kolos, we too can tap into something greater than ourselves.

We don’t just hear; we see. We don’t just see; we hear. Through our connection to Hashem via Torah and its mitzvos, we relive the past, connect to the present, and shape the future, experiencing Hashem in every dimension.

Living vicariously is not merely a coping mechanism for the FOMO-challenged, it is a spiritual gift. It allows us to hear, to see, to connect, and to belong, to take our place in the eternal story of Klal Yisrael.

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Previous posts on Parashas Yisro:

1. Shemos 18:1

2. Zevachim 116a

3. Tanchuma, Yisro 11; Shemos Rabba 29